It’s obvious that God used my marriage to mold me and make me better. When I turned back to the Lord four years ago, my marriage was a wreck. I thought the reasonable thing to do was end it before my heart became even more bitter and ill-thinking towards my husband. Besides I come from a family history of unhappy marriages; I was not surprised that mine was unhappy too. For my children’s sake, I made an effort and sought marriage counseling but it didn’t have much effect. 

When I recommitted back to Jesus, I plainly told him the status of my marriage and was even hoping that I’ll have his blessings to end it. It made sense to me – renewed faith commitment and a new start in Christ, without my unbelieving husband. However the order from heaven’s throne was super-duper crystal clear – remain in your marriage. To do otherwise, I knew it was disobedience. I was even clearly commanded to start the legal process of changing my last name! (I entered my marriage with a hyphenated last name, thinking in the back of my mind that there could be a divorce.) 

Naively I thought my husband and the kids will soon believe in Jesus Christ. Instead he became hostile and suspicious of my faith. He believed I entered into a religious cult. Oh how I wanted to fight him my style and with my strength. I did at first but there was no peace. Eventually I learned to submit my self-will to the Lord and started to seek his counsel and wisdom. The comfort of the Holy Spirit was intensely intimate during those times. As painful as the molding was, I recall the great spiritual comfort even more. From a lumpy contaminated glob of clay, I now see that God turned me into a shapely useful pottery. Writing was never my natural ability and painful to do. Now, for me to write effortlessly and to serve God’s people this way was unimaginable!

I remember onetime when I accepted the fact that my husband’s salvation is in God’s timing and not mine; the Holy Spirit spoke to me with these words of wisdom, “Enjoy your husband.” My eyebrows arched up questionably and my heart asked how? Then I asked in prayer mode to show me how and left this request at my Father’s feet. 

It didn’t happen overnight but little by little, I looked to ‘enjoy my husband.’ God is faithful. It was about the time all my sowing was reaping some harvest. My husband’s heart was softening. He no longer glared at my cross necklace like Dracula. I can now wear it without the glare. I can attend church and, prayer/bible study meetings without the dark moods that follows. I’m sensitive to his comfort level and won’t overdo the fellowship. Plus if household affairs and events come up I give them preference over church. I have peace from the Lord. My husband can not understand my faith in Christ. But whatever changes he has seen in me, he must like the ‘newer’ me because he is tolerating my passion for God. 

Following the Lord and doing what Jesus tells me to do has brought in great peace into our marriage. I find it easier to ‘enjoy my husband’ with peace flowing in our relationship. Some days or seasons are harder due to challenges. But our marriage is the healthiest and most loving than ever before. I can not imagine how much more awesome it’ll be when my husband becomes a believer! Great things to look forward to! 

The other day I was thinking that perhaps it is God’s mercy to use my husband to mold me rather than someone or something else. I think God made a good instrumental choice to use to mold me, don’t you think? (Wow oh wow, I would never have imagined back then that I would even say such a thing today!!)

I like to read the bible in many different versions and I found in the Amplified version ‘enjoy your husband’. It’s scriptural thing to do. 🙂

God bless you! I’ll be praying for you. Please pray for me too. Thank you! – From the heart with love. 

1 Peter 3:1-2Amplified Bible (AMP)
3 In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,

2 When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].

1 Peter 3:1-2Living Bible (TLB)
3 1-2 Wives, fit in with your husbands’ plans; for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behavior. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words.