Honestly, the titles of my writing come from the Holy Spirit. This is an important topic in a marriage so why skirt around it? 

Making love is an important privilege that’s reserved only for the married. No matter how much the world glamorizes sex in the media; sex outside of the marriage will hurt, pollute and even kill you, perhaps not physically then definitely spiritually. I truly believe this and that’s why I believe there’s great strength given to those who seek the Lord for help whenever sexually tempted. 

However what happens when you are legally married and can have all the sex you want but the pressures of life, family and the offenses in your heart against your spouse placed a heavy wet blanket on your passions and physical desires? Especially for women our heart and body are so connected. It’s very hard to get intimate when our hearts are broken and bleeding inside. When I turned back to the Lord, my marriage was broken. Yet I was lead to never turn away my husband’s advances even if my heart was still highly offended. I learned that sexual rejection to a men is extremely demoralizing. You don’t want to demoralize your husband – he is your other half. God gave him to you just as God gave us our kids. God taught me that as I sacrifice for my kids out of love, I must also sacrifice for my husband. My kids can not give as much I can give to them but I demonstrate my love to them by giving and serving. Don’t worry, the Lord will give you all the grace, love and anointing that you need to be steadfast in His ways. 

I was also challenged to do the ‘Love Dare’. This book leads you to actively demonstrate 40 acts of love to your spouse. I really didn’t want to do it but in my prayer time the Lord wouldn’t give me peace until I committed to do the Love Dare. I remember one time I was even lead to go to Victoria Secrets to buy lingerie. My mind was objecting to this act with all kinds of religious justifications. But eventually I obeyed. I realized later that this act was a demonstration of love to my husband. 

My heart was a broken mess when I came back to Jesus. I’m amazed at the wholeness and healing His ways have brought into me, my marriage and other family relationships. The key is to listen, to learn, be accountable, be teachable, be humble and to obey the Holy Spirit. God’s ways are so different from our human ways. His ways work out well and for our good! 

Today I enjoy the privilege of making love to my husband. Somewhere along the journey, my desires and passions have come back. It’s a great blessing. 

I’ll be praying for you. Please pray for me too. Thank you! -From the heart with love. 

1 Corinthians 7:3-4Expanded Bible (EXB)
3 The husband should give his wife all that he owes her as his wife [meet her sexual needs]. And the wife should give her husband all that she owes him as her husband [meet his sexual needs]. 4 The wife does not have full rights [authority]over her own body; her husband shares them. And the husband does not have full rights [authority] over his own body; his wife shares them [revolutionary teaching in the first century, when wives were generally viewed as the possession of their husbands].

5/18/2016-
Please see this 15-minute lecture from a marriage counselor regarding sex in a marriage. Now I understand more why I was guided in this manner by the Holy Spirit.