Last year around this time, God gave me a great victory. After patiently waiting and believing in the Lord, my husband finally conceded to me being able to give to Christian charities. Not only that but my annual allowance to give was very generous, into the thousands. Friends, you have no idea how much my husband opposed giving to religious charities especially Christian-based ones. This was a long awaited miracle! I was beyond thrilled and after giving glory to God, I immediately gave thousands to charities and causes that the Lord has given me a great burden for. 

As the end of year is approaching I brought up our annual giving. I couldn’t believe it when my husband said because his business has slowed down considerably he doesn’t want me to give at the moment. I was angry at him at first because we had just spent so much money on our home remodeling and a family vacation. After one heated debate I realized how pointless this was and so I dropped it. I did what I have learned to do – I went to the Lord in prayer with my grief and discouragement. The hardest part is not being able to continue my sponsorship of a child in Dominc Republic through World Vision and a female missionary in Myanmar through Gospel for Asia. 

Whenever I experience a great setback, I’ve learned to step back and seek the Lord first before opening up my dilemma to others and then asking for prayers. One more time, I brought up my sponsorship renewals coming up. I thought he would say yes to at least those two things. My husband was still not open to giving. I was very sad and perplexed. Why would God give me a great victory to only take everything away? Why would my husband be so close-hearted? None of it made sense. Like David’s many psalms, though perplexed and very sad, I patiently waited for the Lord. 

Few weeks later my marvelous friend reached out to me. I met her when I did real estate few years ago. She’s not a believer yet, but her actions and forgiveness towards her ex-husband is amazing and very Christlike. Her ex-husband left her with three children for a much younger woman and took all the family savings overseas too. I have witnessed God miraculously provide for her and her children in a down real estate market. I believe it is because she chose forgiveness and worked hard to rebuild her life rather than dwell on bitterness and self-pity. Her first two children got into Ivy League universities and I’m sure the third will too. They highly esteem her. I know because they listen to her advice on money, career and relationships. What son allows his mom to control his high earnings and finances in America?!

Couple of years ago my marvelous friend fell into financial advising due to her desire to make wiser long-term financial decisions and plans. Her personal search led her to change her career, and she has been doing marvelously as a financial advisor. She contacted me not only to see if my family needs financial advising, but also if I would be interested in joining her team. She thinks I’ll be very good at this work especially since “You are not greedy” (her words not mine). Because my source of giving has been completely eliminated, my desire to work and make money has surfaced. 

In order to make certain the source of this desire is from God, I’ve been ‘fasting’ on my sleep time. Rather than food I realized that whenever I need greater clarity and guidance from the Lord, I fast my sleep. I wake up very early (4:30am) to pray and to seek the Lord for his voice and wisdom. It was in this period of fasting when I came across the bible verse that says “The Lord will work out his plans for my life.” The Holy Spirit breathed life into these words and now I believe this verse with all of my heart, mind and soul. Hence, I have great peace within me regarding my dilemma. 

I’m still not certain if financial advising is the path I should take. I’m currently investigating and researching the field under the guidance of my marvelous friend. I also get to speak to her about my faith in Jesus Christ. I can see her listening and marveling in my faith. My husband doesn’t support me going into this field but he hasn’t stopped me from researching. I know as wives the bible asks us to submit to our husbands in all things but if I do all that my husband would want me to, then I would not be attending church or my small group regularly, serving so much in church or school, giving money, clothes and food to friends in need, helping and running charity events, writing this blog, sharing my testimonies to bring people to Christ, etc, etc. However, it is because of my husband that I have learned to be still and listen to the Lord for his instructions. I’ve learned discernment on when to speak up and go after what the Lord puts in my heart, and when to be still and allow God to fight my battles. I used to hold grudges and be unforgiving, and now I let offenses go and continue in loving. I used to be very impulsive with little patience. Now I’m very patient with little impulsiveness. 🙂

I’ll end this long blog here. Please pray for me and that this desire to become a financial adviser is truly from the Lord and not other sources. Pray for my husband to soften his heart if I go into this career field with God’s blessing. Thank you so much for your prayers and support! -From the heart with love. 

P.S. Praise God! After posting this in the morning, somehow the topic of our annual giving came up in the same evening. My husband reiterated that he only wants to wait until the very end of year before determining how much to give to charities. So he is still open to giving! Praise God for this hope! 

11/30 – It was over a month ago when I experienced this big disappointment. I thought my charitable funding was closed for the year. It’s a long story but for the past month I had to pursue peace over strife. I had to yield instead of pushing for my way. My husband came up to me few days ago and said he would like to give me something back. He said I could donate $7,000 by end of the year! We’ve probably donated $1,000 here and there throughout the year so then it’ll add upto $8,000! Why is this amount so significant? Because last year the Holy Spirit strongly prompted me to ask for $8,000 but I was too chicken to. Instead I asked for $5,000 to give. I wonder if all this could’ve been prevented if I simply obeyed and asked for $8,000 last year…? Praise God that He is bigger than my fears, failures, and unbelief! I’m still amazed and floored. Wow! God is awesome! I’m believing that the money will help many desperate people for God’s glory! Praise God for this victory! 

Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NLT)
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 

Psalm 138:9(NLT)
8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.