My mom was attending a house church on her block for nearly two years. Listening to how she discovered this private house church seemed divinely set up by God. My mom, sister and nephew were regularly attending and were being greatly blessed. Though I had my hesitation on this house church, I was so thankful that they finally were committing themselves to a church, learning the word and being accountable to other believers. For a while things were going very well. Then eventually my teen nephew stopped attending, the pastor’s sons and fiancé stopped showing up, and recently the pastor demanded greater funds from my mom and sister, not believing their financial constraints. My atheist dad was angry and only confirmed his prejudice that churches only want money. It was sad to hear this. My mom shared all this with me and asked for my advice. My mom shared with me how this pastor came out of her big church as an elder, and spoke bitterly about her former church. She decided to set up her own church in her house. My mom, sister and nephew were the first members. And no other new members came. 

I didn’t speak my thoughts right away but I prayed about it overnight. I sensed in my heart how to advise her the next morning. I told my mom that it’s probably better to stop attending this house church. If the pastor is upset about how much money they are giving and is demanding more, then something is not right. I told her that my church share their requests for more funds but that my church leaves the decision up to us, trusting God for the funds. 

I also told her that from my observation if God calls someone to a job, then He always provides the funds, resources and the growth too. But why should God pay someone whom He didn’t hire for the job? Perhaps this pastor appointed herself to this job. I also shared that we are not to speak ill of other believers even if it’s true. We have to treat them like family and cover their faults with prayers until they turn around. I told her about my concern of the pastor speaking bitterly about her former church.

My mom received my advice. She was sad to end her relationship with this pastor but agreed that it’s for the best. Please pray for my mom, sister and nephew to find another local church where they can be rooted and blessed. Please pray for this pastor too. Thank you so much! 

It’s very sad that things ended this way. From what I’ve heard this lady has great potential in ministry, lots of life experiences and talent in sharing God’s word. Sadly her full potential will only manifest when she’s back in the body of Christ. She may be the important and invaluable thumb amongst the fingers but by herself she’ll be ineffective. It appears she has removed herself from the church which is the body of Christ. Her story reminds of these verses in 1 Corinthians 12:18-21:
18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

I’ve noticed no matter how much I pray, move carefully, read the bible for wisdom, etc. I still make mistakes. I still evaluate incorrectly. I still rush too quickly. I still let fear and doubts to stop me from responding. I still say and do the wrong things. Therefore I’ve given up on trying to be perfect. It gives me freedom to relax and do the best I know how and allow the rest to be covered by the grace and mercy of God. I hope I’m more open than ever to be corrected. Now I allow God to use people around me to correct me, to give me wisdom, to shape and sharpen me. God will use everyone and everything to keep on making me better. I’m not sure if this process will ever end while on earth…

God forewarns us that this is normal: 

Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)
17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

I’m a firm believer in being rooted to the local church. I mean not only attending weekly services but committing, serving, tithing, making relationships, etc. I’m not opposed to house churches. I read the book called, “The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson. They grew phenomenally in the Washington, D.C. area from a house church in only couple of decades. 

It’s important to closely evaluate the fruit produced in the church leadership you are following. Good trees produce good fruit. Just like there are no perfect marriages, there are no perfect churches. However God’s peace is in your heart when you make roots in a local church He designated for you. You shouldn’t just go by how long someone’s been a Christian or how religious they sound or how many scriptures they know. You must evaluate their fruit. 

I’ll be praying for you to be a wise fruit assessor and for you to become firmly rooted in the your local church. Please pray for me too. Thank you so much! 

Matthew 7:17, 18, 20 (NLT)
17 A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. 18 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 20 Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.

1/22- Wow it’s only been three days since I posted this story. I spoke with my mom today. She told me her pastor friend dropped off a big delicious pot of chicken stew to apologize! Praise God! My mom wants to keep the friendship. She said she’ll go to her house church every so often and will continue to look for a more established church to attend regularly. Thank you for praying!