When I was about 14, I went to a weeklong summer youth retreat participated by several Korean churches. After seeing many youth worshipping God and the evening sermon touching my heart, I remember yearning to know God too. I asked on that second night in silent prayer, “God, if you are real, please show me.” The very next morning He did with great power!

After breakfast we all went to the main sanctuary to worship and that was when the Holy Spirit came upon me with great power like a lightening bolt – no warning just 💥 ! I recall screaming nonstop and stiffening. I barely remember how they lifted me up to take me to another room. I don’t know how long I was screaming but I just couldn’t stop. The college students from another church all gathered around me to pray for me. I quieted down to open my eyes but I was so scared. The adults were in the room but they were not taking the lead. This one college student, Steve said to me that I must receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior now. There was something within me that was terrified and felt evil and separate from me who was shaking my head no. But with my mouth and my mind I said yes. Steve led me to say the sinner’s prayer and immediately great peace entered my entire being.

The rest of the youth retreat week was so magical with the trees clapping and birds chirping with praises onto God. Even the stares and whispers from the youths and adults did not affect me. I was in the heavenly clouds literally. The college students especially Steve gave me extra attention. It was a bonus that he was cute too. 🙂

Whenever I recount my born-again experience I realize that I was born as a premie. Why? Because I had no clue that I was a sinner or that I needed a Savior for my sins. I was a good kid – respectful and honoring my elders and parents, good student, got along well with my sister, shy with boys.

There were so many things that I wish the leaders would have told me before sending me home. Such as what the strange babbling that was coming out of my mouth was; that I’ll be a target for the enemy; that when an evil spirit leaves it’ll come back with others far worse, therefore I must fill myself with God’s Word and be prepared. But looking back now I understand that the leaders did not know themselves these spiritual things.

In couple of years the sweet young teenager turned into a monster I didn’t recognize. Great depression and eating disorder swept me over. When my pleas for death did not get answered; I now see that God’s grace and provision allowed anger and hatred to keep me afloat to live on. Jesus allowed himself to receive all my hatred so that I would keep myself alive. I hated Christians, the Church, God and Jesus.

Today when I see anyone hating Jesus or the body of Christ intensely I wonder what happened and how were they hurt so much. I’m also really good about reaching out to anyone that the Holy Spirit puts in my heart. Because this act of love may save them from great sin and death.

In less than 3 years the two prayer groups has amassed nearly 120 people. I gather them together through Google groups. Many are believers who don’t have inherited family faith or spouses who believe. They are like me. I do my very best to lead them and also warn them on spiritual matters. Because they all know me personally, I hope they see the fruit of my life as being good. It’s important to see the fruit of a leader’s life.

When I realized that the Lord was placing me as a leader I did not like it. It was too much responsibility and too serious. I wanted to quit and runaway. The first year of the prayer group I personally experienced so many spiritual attacks. But God was faithful and strengthened me always. And it was good to see that my ‘fear of God’ is greater than my fear of Satan and man. Plus I learned so many valuable lessons through the attacks. Especially my poker face. Lol! No matter what is going on, I have learned to keep a good poker face in front of my non-believing family members.

This bible verse hit me at a time when I wanted to be irresponsible and quit. God’s Word sure does penetrate deep. Since then I have done my best to take my role seriously. Lord help me!!

Our first prayer meeting this new academic year starts on September 11th. It’ll be our third year! It’s also third day of this year’s Jewish Rosh Hashanah. I read this article recently and wondering about the significance of starting our prayer meeting upon the anniversary of 9/11 and Rosh Hashanah. Holy Spirit, share your thoughts with me I pray. 🙏

Click to access limmud-study-shofar.pdf

Romans 12:8

If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.