I was very fortunate to be born into a middle-class family in a stable country. Immigrating to America as a child gave me more freedom and opportunities. Starvation, oppression, and abuses by great evil were not my portion. I’m very grateful for this. God has been very good to me. 

Past couple of years the Holy Spirit has been leading me to read books and watch programs that have opened my eyes to great evil. Before Christ, I used to turn away from such books, news and programs because I couldn’t handle the reports. And also I didn’t want to know so then I didn’t have to help.

One of my observation is that evil can be awfully great. For any person experiencing and even reporting these evils, it can ‘make one’s soul sick’. A famous photographer said this about himself after taking photos of war refugees fleeing in Africa. I can only understand a glimpse of what he means. I understand a little because every time I read on the holocaust, human trafficking, abuses of defenseless children and women, war atrocities, etc. my mind gets a little sick by the extend of evil when unleashed. However it is by the blood of Christ, my mind recovers from the sickness. I can see how the strongest men and women helping in the frontline may not recover without the blood of Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I wonder why God leads me to these information when there’s not much I can do today. My husband is where I was five years ago – turning away because the evil is too much to bear. Although now we do donate a nice sum to Christian charities that work in these areas. Praise God!!!

Understanding the horrors of evil makes me realize how much God’s people must step up in our growth and get serious about fulfilling our individual purpose in our generation. If we become complacent and do not grow and not take the roles that God has in mind for us, then unfortunately that void gets filled by evil. That’s my observation whenever I’m reading about past evils such as the holocaust. The kingdom of night is awfully evil. Surely the next generations pay for our complacency. 

My advice to you is this. Whenever an invitation comes your way to lead and serve, pray about it. If you feel in your heart to do it, just do it. Don’t make excuses. The Holy Spirit is teaching me so much through my role and service as an interim spiritual leader of my family, at the kids’ school as PTO president and as co-leader of my bible study. Even this blogging is what I’m lead to do so I keep writing. I can’t help but think that these are practices for something bigger and even more important later on. 

I have another advice. Whenever you feel ‘sick in your soul’ after exposure to evil, then please stop and spend time before the Lord recovering. If not, bitterness takes root and grows in your heart. That’s very dangerous. There was a story I read of a Christian woman who was severely tortured by Muslim men. Her entire village was attacked, family and friends killed, her young son killed brutally, her young daughter mutilated by circumcision, her married off to her captive. Although her and her daughter eventually ran away free I could tell she was still in the middle of forgiving and recovering from trauma. I don’t fault her. I prayed for her and her family. I hope to hear the rest of God’s redemption and restoration for her and her family one day. However her story disturbed me tremendously. My soul got sick. I could tell I was sick because hatred was brewing in my heart towards Muslim men. Since I used to be a strong feminist it’s a weak spot for me. I spent a long morning before Jesus to help me recover from my ‘soul sickness.’ God’s word promises us that we will always heal and recover because of Jesus Christ.*

Kingdom of night scares me. I’m going to do my part to fight against this kingdom. By the grace and power of God, I’m going to help usher in the Kingdom of Heaven on earth and also keep praying and believing that my family will join me one day. 

This is Jesus’ sermon on the mount. He gives us wisdom about how to usher in the Kingdom of Heaven. It’s very different than the how the world would do it. But looking back in my life past five years, these are the reasons why there is greater Kingdom of Heaven in my own family today. Friends, let us trust and obey Jesus. I’ll be praying for you. Please pray for me too. Thank you!!

Matthew 5

The Beatitudes

3 “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

4 God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

5 God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth.

6 God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied.

7 God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

8 God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.

9 God blesses those who work for peace,  for they will be called the children of God.

10 God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

*Isaiah 53:5 (AMP)

But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was crushed for our wickedness [our sin, our injustice, our wrongdoing]; The punishment [required] for our well-being fell on Him, And by His stripes (wounds) we are healed.