Hello friends. In this week’s newsletter, I’d like to highlight a testimony of a Jewish man who became a believer of Jesus Christ. His journey to become a believer is copied at the end of this post. I received his permission to share his story. Please take time to read his testimony.
As I was reading his story, so many of his thoughts and questions resonated with me since I also wrestled with these similar questions in the past 15 years. And like him, there wasn’t anything that was urgent or detrimental happening in my life when God got my attention to seek Him. For people like us, it is probably harder to fully surrender to Jesus than those who mess up their lives with “sex, drugs, and rock and roll” and foolish living.
Perhaps I am wrong but I will never know since God has gifted me with good common sense and good inner brakes. I also think for Christians like me, it is very important to remain humble and not morph into a religious “Pharisee” who resisted Jesus during his ministry on earth.
Another thing that I noticed while reading his testimony is that as a Jewish person, he greatly struggled with Jesus Christ being the Messiah or Savior. I never had that problem. For me, I greatly struggled with the lordship of Jesus Christ over my life. As I was reading his last two years as a believer, it seemed he didn’t struggle with that as I did. Also, his conversion experience was not emotional and supernatural like mine was.
I also looked up the sermon series on Genesis that made a huge impact on him to convince him to become a believer of Jesus Christ. Here is the link.
https://www.themissionchurch.net/genesis-sermons/
There are over 50 messages in this Genesis series. I heard the first two and they were excellent. The second sermon on Genesis is about water and weather. It is very scientific, and well researched by the pastor. Those who are interested in weather patterns, chemistry, oceanography, etc would highly appreciate this message. Perhaps your children/grandchildren who study these things in science classes would appreciate this message too.
Another topic that you will wrestle with a lot in the Christian community is the prosperity gospel debate. Basically, does God want you to be wealthy and successful while on this earth? I have given a lot of thought about this topic and heard countless sermons and had discussions with my circle of friends. As a newbie, I was confused by the differing debates and why it was even so controversial in the Christian world. I thought this young pastor did a great job wrestling with God about this topic and he even wrote a book about this topic. He’s a first Gen believer, kind of like me. John Bevere also shared a story about an Indonesian pastor who is using his church’s wealth to greatly bless the Muslims in his community. He even built them two mosques! You’ll have to hear his reasons why.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-john-bevere-podcast/id1744019971?i=1000765511785
I heard this megachurch pastor strongly encouraging his church members to sponsor children through Compassion International.
Their church members have already given $16 million dollars to sponsor children in abject poverty in third world countries. You need money to help them. If we as Christians can be trusted with money to help the poorest, then I’m comfortable with us being conduits of wealth to bless others. I think you will have to search your heart before God to see if you will be a hoarder or a conduit of wealth to help others.
https://northcoastchurch.com/matthew-the-art-of-surrender/?enmse=1&enmse_sid=274&enmse_mid=4691
I’ve seen some Christian ministry leaders who became hoarders of wealth and power. They used the money for themselves or their self-centered ministry. Their endings and family legacy left behind did not end well. They brought destruction and shame onto their family. Ultimately, God exposed and judged them. It is a fearful thing to be judged by God!
One more thing before I end my newsletter this week, 15 years ago I heard very clearly from the Holy Spirit to place my children in Hebrew school to receive their bar/bat mitzvahs. Our temple is a reformed Jewish synagogue. I had several deep conversations with the head rabbi of our temple about Jesus Christ. He said that he was envious of our Christian’s belief about the afterlife. Reformed Judaism believes that when one dies, one just goes back to the earth and becomes nonexistent. How sad. 😦
I used to believe that the Church replaced the Jewish people. That’s called the “Replacement Theology”. As I extensively studied the Old Testament books in the last 15 years, I no longer hold that belief.
If you haven’t said “yes” to Jesus Christ, because surrendering your life to Jesus Christ sounds so frightful; I totally understand you! I’m 15 years into my life of surrender and service to Lord Jesus Christ. From my experiences of the last 15 years, I found that Christian teachings and my faith has greatly helped me in all my relationships and helped me to navigate successfully the challenges and trials in life that happen to everyone on earth. A more harmonious relationships add more joy and peace into my life too. Having the peace and power of Jesus Christ in the midst of life’s challenges and troubles is the best thing ever. I believed a big fat lie from the enemy about surrendering myself fully to Jesus Christ. It’s me who gets the best deal ever from surrendering fully. I was blind and now I see! 😃
You might enjoy hearing from these ex-skeptics who finally said their “yes” too. Check out their stories.
https://exskeptic.org/podcast/
That’s about it for this week’s newsletter. With much prayer and in the love of Jesus Christ, 🙏❤️
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)
Here is the testimony of the Jewish man:
My Journey
The Unexpected Journey.
I had the good fortune to retire earlier than anticipated. Keeping the promise I’d made to my wife 31 years earlier, we moved back to California, her native and natural habitat. I tried to fill my open calendar, and empty inbox with new opportunities but they fizzled. The void that was created needed to be filled. That’s where the journey started.
Coming Into Focus.
As we settled into life in Encinitas, my wife Julia desired to find and get involved in a church that would be easily accessible. After several months of visiting churches within walking distance and not really being drawn to them, we visited The Mission Church in Carlsbad. It was our very good fortune to attend on the Sunday service that was the 1st week of a deep dive series into the Book of Genesis. The pastor was brilliant! His highly logical and technically specific explanations of how our world came into being were extremely compelling. His use of detailed science to support the biblical account was well-founded and supported by extensive archeological evidence. We had no idea that it would take more than 1 – 1/2 years to complete the Genesis series. Every week was extremely informative, meaty and thought provoking. That highly logical teaching was among a few timely factors that provoked me to think and be more serious about the big questions, more than ever before.
Creation.
The math and precision required for our planet to be created and then maintained in a manner that allows for human life to thrive is just way too exact and amazing to have resulted from a fluke explosion. If it was an explosion, what created the elements that would have exploded in the first place? It takes far more faith for me to believe in such an unlikely happenstance – the impossible big-bang miracle, than it does to conclude that our universe was made by a creator whose intellect and creativity is far beyond our capacity to understand it. We think we are so clever but even the most accomplished scientific community, utilizing highly advanced computers, with the knowledge of what creation actually looks like, still can’t fathom what really happened to bring life and our universe into being and we still don’t understand all of the systems at work that sustain us. With the pastor’s stellar teaching (pun intended) it has been confirmed to me once again that we must have an incredible creator.
The Jewish Bible.
It is very difficult to explain away so much historical accuracy found in the Bible. Why has the Bible lasted and not simply been disproved and abandoned to the shelves holding other ancient writings? Original documents that are true to today’s versions are older than nearly any other historical documents. Numerous other ancient documents and accounts support many Biblical details. Time and time again, archeological discoveries seem to prove that people, places and instances found in the Bible are accurately depicted. Then there are the proven prophecies. I haven’t found any source that convincingly refutes numerous prophecies found in the Jewish Bible such as God’s foretelling, with explicit accuracy, hundreds of years before the events took place, numerous dynasties and civilizations that actually existed. After learning about these prophecies, how could I ignore the Bible’s importance? I believe the Bible’s accuracy demands a level of attention and investigation to understand more about its authenticity. If the Bible is accurate, it sure clears up a lot about creation, the creator and 6,000 years of history.
Judaism.
Survival of the Jewish people in the face of nearly endless historical persecution and several nearly successful attempts at genocide, point to Jews as having immense importance to our creator. It seems highly instructive to pay attention to how Jews and Israel have been and currently are pivotal influencing factors as to what happens on our planet. Why has hatred of Jews and antisemitism endured? It seems to be much more than jealousy and scapegoatism. Having been scattered all over the planet, how has the Jewish identity and language been preserved for so long? One doesn’t run into many Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites anymore. It seems likely that God has a very specific plan for the Jewish people. Why do almost all Jews seem to completely misunderstand Christianity? Considering the common history, that makes no sense to me. Have Jews been intentionally misled about Christianity for a bigger purpose? If so, by whom or what and why?
Jewish Upbringing.
My parents were founding members of the Reform Jewish Congregation in Vancouver. They provided a wonderful home life for us and they preserved and incorporated various rich Jewish traditions and observances into our family’s fabric. Like my 4 siblings, I attended Sunday morning and Wednesday afternoon religious school. We were taught a smattering of Hebrew and Jewish history, but I can’t say that I learned much. I had a bar mitzvah at 13 years old. I stood before our congregation, recited numerous prayers in Hebrew and English, chanted my Torah portion and gave a short childish sermon. Following my younger brother’s bar mitzvah, most of our family drifted away from attending temple and we tended to show up at High Holy Days and special events.
We had pretty heated conversations at the dinner table about why it was so important to continue Judaism, and more specifically, why we were not to marry Gentiles. The pressure to continue our race seemed to be based on solid ground but in light of most of our family’s lack of faith it was also confusing. I’ve always been proud of my Jewish roots but I rarely felt any underlying faith to go along with it. When Julia and I became engaged, it did not go over well. Even to this day, there are significant remnants of familial relationship damage that was done at that time. I understood the pressure that came from my grandmother Frances because she really seemed to be a woman of faith. It was harder to find a basis for my parent’s objections considering that by that time, Judaism was not central to their life. As I look back at my upbringing, I can now see how our Reform congregation was an easy place to keep our Jewish traditions without having real belief in God.
Although it wasn’t overt, we were taught that Christianity was a threat. We were taught about numerous periods of deadly Jewish persecution perpetrated by Christians. Christians were not our friends. We never learned anything about Judaism’s common roots with Christianity and what I now see was a simple, but hugely impactful decision that most Jews made when evaluating Jesus’s claims about himself.
The Messiah.
I can’t remember any instruction during my limited religious education and upbringing about the Messiah. I don’t think there was any. I remember references and discussions about some of the more extreme branches of Judaism dealing with the subject in various ways, but Reform Judaism seems to ignore it. Jews at the time of Jesus may have been looking for the Messiah but my view of Judaism today is that there are very few sects that have any interest in the subject matter.
Israel.
The world’s fascination with, and the amount of fighting over that tiny sliver of formerly unproductive land is completely out of proportion to its influence and strategic importance. There must be reasons for so much focus on Israel and so many nations’ determination to eliminate Israel and the Jewish people. How can this be explained without a spiritual cause? How can Israel’s rapid development and enormous successes in countless industries be explained? How while devoting so many resources to defense, has Israel flourished and emerged as one of the most successful countries in the region, especially taking into account that Israel is without oil or other valuable natural resources? Why does Israel stand in such stark contrast to all of her neighbors when it comes to personal freedoms, a multi-ethnic representative democracy and standard of living? How can one not conclude that Israel has been blessed?
Jewish History.
If the points above are true, or even appear likely to be true, further understanding of Jewish history is required. Evidence supports the fact that Jews of more than 5,000 years ago practiced ceremonial rites and sacrifices primarily prescribed in Exodus and Leviticus, to ask God for forgiveness and to atone for their sins and shortcomings. Whatever happened to all that stuff? How did destruction of the 2nd temple just suspend it all? Were the Jews really waiting for their Messiah? It looks that way. There are amazingly compelling prophecies within writings confirmed to have originated hundreds of years before the arrival of Jesus (Daniel 9 being the most amazing to me), some with unbelievable specificity that point to the arrival of the Messiah, his purpose, events that would take place, Jesus’s death, resurrection and God’s plan that follows. It’s amazing that no religion appears to deny Jesus’s life and teaching. In fact, most tend to acknowledge the importance of his life and teaching.
Jesus.
It’s nice that his teachings are so widely accepted as good instruction and helpful. How can Jesus’ claims of divinity be explained without calling him a con man or a highly delusional person with mental illness? He doesn’t fall into the same category as maniacs such as Jim Jones or Charles Manson. In fact, numerous documents that can be traced back to the lifetimes of those who knew him, seem to verify the Christian accounts of his life. Why would people of that day be willing to submit themselves to persecution, torture and execution, by testifying about what they actually saw and experienced if they knew the story wasn’t true? How can the impact of the Jesus story for more than 2,000 years after his death be explained if the story could be proven to be false?
The Christian Bible.
There are many factors to consider when evaluating the historical accuracy and credibility of the Christian Bible – The New Testament. Among compelling sources, the former atheist investigative reporter from the Chicago Tribune, Lee Strobel conducted many interviews that provide extensive evidence of historical accuracy within the New Testament and countless examples of details that are extremely difficult to disprove. Through other sources, I found numerous ancient historical accounts that fit perfectly with the New Testament and undergird the accuracy of it. I came to understand that Christianity isn’t a rejection of Judaism. It is clearly a turn in the road, but it is the same Jewish story, with next steps. When understood, Christianity is Judaism continued.
No Longer Distracted.
Life was busy. Although mostly not on purpose, I’ve lived my days, avoiding taking the time to really focus on these important questions. When career concerns were mostly behind me, I started to take the questions more seriously. Not being a great reader, I utilized an audio book of the Bible and an app that organized readings into a chronological journey that covered every page. It only took 6 weeks to read the entire text along with a brief commentary that accompanied it. That deeper dive worked wonders. I was able to follow the history and story in a way that made so much more sense to me than reading book-by-book in Bible order. The interdependency of each story and the continuity that the chronological approach provided was helpful. Then I read numerous books, such as The Grace Awakening and Mere Christianity that helped better explain the character of God. My conclusion was that there was sufficient evidence to cause me to start trying to communicate directly to God through prayer.
Months Of Prayer.
Although it was very odd and uncomfortable to do so, I started to pray nearly every morning before looking at my phone or doing anything else. I expressed my thankfulness for so many blessings that I’ve received, and blessings that I experience every day. I asked God to help me know him, understand the truth about him and to help me engage in a relationship with him. I also focused attention on my shortcomings (sin) and asked for forgiveness and guidance. In addition to prayer, I continued to read the Bible and related books, listen to intelligent teachers and absorb as much as possible.
Disappointment.
Having heard more Sunday morning messages than I can count, wherein I heard that all I had to do was repent of my sins and ask Jesus to be my Lord and Savior, I was extremely disappointed that having done so, nothing happened. At a minimum, I hoped for a glimmer of faith to emerge in me. It didn’t happen. Months went by and I started to think that God didn’t want me and that I wasn’t going to be able to have a real relationship with him. That was really tough. I felt rejected by God and that was truly depressing when I wrestled with that feeling.
Sin And Regret.
Praying daily and asking for forgiveness caused me to focus on my very disappointing track record. It’s strange and ultimately self-condemning to think about so many types of sin. I used to follow the “I’m a pretty decent person” school of thought. But as I thought more about my record with honesty and accuracy, I became very ashamed. I have acted hideously at numerous times in my life, pretty badly during a lot of my life as well as selfishly and pridefully self-centered in all of my life. My aggregated sin list is beyond putrid. Even scarier, I’m certain that God is much more aware of my shortcomings than I am. That is a very uncomfortable thought. I sure hoped that I’d find forgiveness because if I didn’t, I’d have a big problem.
Daily Prayers.
Day after day, I communicated to God that I wanted to surrender to Him and I wanted Him to become my Lord and Savior. Over time, I think it became a bit more comfortable to pray those things and somewhere along the way I changed my prayer to telling God that I surrender to Him. It is surprisingly difficult to believe in such an unbelievably amazing gift; a relationship with the creator of the universe and the assurance of forgiveness, all for free. I couldn’t quite do it. Julia described that God was offering me a lifesaving flotation ring, just waiting within reach for me to grab hold of.
I understood the metaphor but I was getting awfully pruny while trying to get up the courage to take hold of it. Looking back, I can’t really explain how things changed and I don’t have a “spiritual birthday.” I just started to believe, bit by bit, that having accepted Him as my Lord and Savior and surrendering to Him, I did have a tiny morsel of faith and trust. It meant a lot to me to have a conversation about this journey with a friend who is also a pastor in Colorado. After a lengthy discussion, Scott told me that it sounded to him like I was already a believer. That was a surprise and a comfort.
I understand and have come to accept that Jesus actually was crucified on a cross as the ultimate act of atonement for those who are honest about their sins and accept his gift of forgiveness. I understand substitutionary atonement but I still don’t fully understand why God had to send Jesus to the earth, to live as a human and die a tortured death in order for my sins to be forgiven. But if that’s the way it had to happen, so be it. I’m very thankful that I’ve avoided, through God’s mercy, the punishment that I deserve. I’m very grateful that God has provided forgiveness, the grace that I don’t deserve and I’m thankful that he has led me to accept his protection. I hope to grow my knowledge and understanding of so many things such as these. In the meantime, I pray for the Holy Spirit of God to make me aware of my failings and help me avoid them. So far, this journey has greatly impacted me, changed many of my behaviors and altered my attitude towards sin and selfishness. I have a perspective that is more aware and less careless. I have a lot further to go but I also recognize that I can’t do it on my own and I’ll never be good enough on my own merit to avoid a guilty judgment.
Mustard Seed Sized Faith.
Apparently that very tiny morsel started to grow. That realization brought with it a recognizable feeling of calm and comfort. Sometimes it is stronger than other times, but it is there. A few times, it was an undeniably strong physical feeling that came over me. It may seem crazy but it felt somewhat like the warm, highly pleasurable, enveloping sensation that I had the one time I took Vicodin for a bad toothache. I’m not sure what it was but I wish it would come back. It felt wonderful! I’m inclined to believe that it was a heavenly hug.
Comfortable Christian.
The next very big step for me was to break through my enormous discomfort with being in church. Prior to believing, I went to try to please my Christian wife. I felt terribly uneasy and uncomfortable. It used to put me in a terrible mood. I felt like I was a traitor, hanging out in enemy territory. Now, it has become easier and more comfortable than I could ever have imagined. I couldn’t have predicted that I could become comfortable praying “in Jesus’ name”, but I do and it feels very right for me.
Next?
I want to know what God wants to do with me. I pray for the Spirit of God to be front and center in my being and for God in all his forms to be evident to me and in communication with me. I hope to grow my knowledge and understanding in order to strengthen my faith and trust in Him. I feel impatient in this regard but if I’ve learned anything during this journey, it is that I don’t choose the timing. I desire for God to use me according to His will. I tell Him that I am his to use for the rest of my life, in any way he chooses. I haven’t been able to recognize His urging with 100% certainty yet, but I hope to eventually learn if and how He might use me.
Getting To Know Him.
In the meantime, I feel like a child who doesn’t know anything. I will continue to study the Bible, learn from learned people whose theology rings true, and keep trying to grow my knowledge and understanding. I want to know God well enough to understand His will. I want to know more about heaven. I’m happy that entrance to heaven is a great benefit to fully accepting Him, but I know that I don’t fully appreciate the importance or implications attached to that gift yet. Being 63 years old, I continue to get closer to a time when my passing won’t be considered untimely.
When my time comes, I hope to go with the confidence and joy that a friend of mine named David recently demonstrated. David’s grandfather also told me, more than 30 years ago, literally on his deathbed, that he was ready and confident about going to be with the Lord. David’s confidence, joy and comfort were similarly inspiring. That gift from above is simply beautiful and I can now imagine having that same confidence when my time comes.
Influencers.
It’s impossible to count how often throughout my life, I’ve become deeply entangled with Bible believing Christians. Over and over, they were there. Many, if not most of my closest friends, business partners, clients, suppliers and even our children were and are believers. It seems like it didn’t matter which direction I chose; my path was lined with them. These important people had varying degrees of belief and angles on theology but it is impossible to deny their influence on me and on the trajectory of my life. I know that there is an exhaustive list of people who have prayed for me and I’m very grateful. Behind it all, I can now see in retrospect that like a complex musical arrangement, God was placing countless elements and influences, in a precise orchestration, over a very long period of time, all for my benefit.
The most important human influence has been Julia. Although she was barely practicing her faith when we met, courted, and married, she has become one of the most strongly grounded believers that I’ve ever known. Her faith appears to be rock solid and her constantly growing Bible knowledge is both inspiring and intimidating. She loves the Lord. Although it has been a very difficult journey for her, nearly all of the time, she exhibited endless patience with my lack of interest and discomfort with her faith.
Reckless Love.
As previously mentioned, there were many times when I felt that God didn’t want me. That doesn’t appear to be true, but I felt that. On the other hand, it is so evident that God has been drawing me to Him for decades.
The song Reckless Love resonates with me. My human understanding can’t fathom how forgiving and patient he has been with me. As I look back, I can see so many times when God’s influence charted my path.
I’m very thankful for the coming of the Jewish Messiah and his apparent pursuit of me. He has poured out an incalculable amount of grace towards me and blessed us beyond our wildest dreams. He has a lot more work to do in me and I pray that I’ll recognize His leadership and be capable of following Him adequately. In the meantime, I pray that He will continue to reveal Himself and grant more understanding and wisdom to me and those I love.
Ultimately, as I look back at this journey, it is clear that all of this was God’s doing, not my own. Amazing…
Post Script:
I wrote this document 2 years ago while living the journey, to help make sense of things that I was learning and to keep track of what was happening. Since then, I’ve continued to learn, grow and serve where I can.
Journal of Faith 