Hello friends! I’m led to share this older message with you about marriage. I will add my new comments in blue. I’m currently reading Tim and Kathy Keller’s book, “The Meaning of Marriage”. It’s excellent. I love all the marriage research studies that he used in the book.
It’s not an academic book. It’s for all levels of readers. I was surprised to learn that he and his wife, Kathy struggled a lot in their marriage early on. Tim Keller shared in a sermon that his church was about 60% singles – mostly young professionals living in NYC. This is why he focused a lot of his attention on the topic of marriage and singleness.
Here’s an excellent sermon by Tim Keller on the theology of singleness. He even talked about porn and masterbation – not in a bad, judgemental way. He simply shared information so that the listener can decide what is best for themselves on porn and masterbation.
https://youtu.be/aYHxHiJOvVI?is=r1XEwHZvBV_vQprv
FYI – sexually transmitted infections are becoming increasingly more resistant to antibiotic medications. And viruses like HIV, herpes, etc are lifelong viruses that stay in your body system. As far as I know, there are no medications to cure sexually transmitted viruses. There are meds to manage the symptoms. Please just be aware about these facts on sexually transmitted infections and viruses.
Whenever I talk with singles or divorcees, I also warn them about date rape drugs that are so prevalent today. Please be careful and be aware about these things when you go out on dates and social places like bars, nightclubs, parties, etc. Even young men are being targeted and drugged these days.
Sent: Sunday, June 26, 2022 6:42 AM
Hello ladies! Summertime is usually a season where I catch up with friends, self-study a Bible book or theme, catch up on books that I’ve been wanting to read and do a good amount of reflection of my past academic year. Just like our children who get their report cards at the end of the year, please carefully and prayerfully look at your grades in relationships and any work done as a follower of Jesus Christ.
I think from all the relationships, marriage is the hardest one because you cannot take a break in your interactions with your spouse. Work peers, tough boss or even your teenager, parents and in-laws, you can take a break but not from your spouse.I shared with you while back an extensive national study (pre-Covid) reported that Evangelical Christians have the highest divorce rates than any other religions in our country. I remembered from the report that the Catholics, Hindus, Muslims and Atheists (yes they considered it as a religion) had lower divorce rates. And if you think your chance of divorce is lower in your second marriage, think again. It’s been shown that divorce rates are higher in second and third marriages.
We can endlessly delve into the “whys” behind these divorce statistics. Right now, I just want to share the realities so that if you are married or getting married soon, then you can be prepared. Since post-Covid, I keep reading news that divorce rate is higher nationally.
I just read an article on Business Insider that divorce rates are rising in the Boomer generation (65+). Their article is more about the financial implications of separating assets, 401k contributions, wealth transfer etc late in life. I don’t know why divorce rates are rising for the older Boomer generation, but I think everyone would benefit from Tim Keller’s book and sermon series on marriage.
Please work on acquiring biblical knowledge and support for your marriage this summer if it has been difficult and painful the last two years. Don’t forget I am the only believer in my family. So, I think my home situation is harder and trickier than many of you who have a believing spouse and/or children. This is also why I’ve acquired lots of knowledge about God’s thoughts on marriage, and to seek His long-term and eternal views.
If you feel like you failed or struggled in your marriage relationship this past academic year, here are good resources for you to study this summer. Hang in there. Please read these articles about marriage, and dig deeper by reading their books or listening to their podcasts.
1. Toni Nieuwhof is a family law attorney who with her pastor husband, Carey are willing to share about their very hard seasons in their marriage. Please read this article and there will be links to other resources by them. The Nieuwhof’s are a boomer generation.
2. Well-known and respected pastor, Tim Keller with his wife, Kathy wrote a book together about cultivating a healthy Christian marriage. Please read their interview and see if their book is a right one for you.
https://gospelinlife.com/cultivating-a-healthy-marriage-planning-planting/
Here is Tim Keller’s marriage sermon series. I heard the first two and they are EXCELLENT. It’s a must listen for everyone
3. Stormie O’Martian’s prayer books are excellent. I’ve used her “Power of the Praying Wife” book many times. She shares lots of advice along with powerful prayers to pray at the end of each chapter. Her prayers are the best part. Please consider buying her book and using it to pray for your husband this summer. Warning ⛔️ in your first time reading her book, you will be offended often. So, pray beforehand that you will finish her book until the very end, no matter what. She wrote a book for husbands too. One day I would like to look through this book to see if she is as tough with the husbands as she is with the wives. Haha. God’s Word is “tough-love”. https://www.amazon.com/Power-Praying%C2%AE-Wife-Stormie-Omartian/dp/0736957499
I think if you can master your marriage relationship well, then all other relationships can come easily since you can always take a nice long break from everyone else. What if you are blessed with an easy-going and lovable spouse? Praise Jesus everyday! But I think God will send other abrasive people in your life to sand off your rough edges. It’s one of those lessons that we cannot run away from. So please study hard and pray a lot beforehand so that you can pass your quizzes and tests in difficult relationships.
By the way, I’ll try to look for that older study report on divorce rates in USA and share it with you again. It was at a time when Evangelical Christians were in the spotlight by secular news. I think our group is in the spotlight again these days. Let’s try hard to be on our best behavior and speech amongst nonbelievers.
Here is the study link that Financial Times used for their article in 2016:
The Religious Landscape Study by Pew Research Center https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/religious-landscape-study/#religions
Sorry I made a mistake recalling from my memory – in 2014, the lowest divorced/separated rate are the Hindus, Mormons, and Muslims, respectively. Catholics and Non-Religious are lower than the Evangelical and Black Protestants in divorced/separated rates.
One more thing, many people think that living together before getting married is a smart decision – try out a “beta” version of their relationship before an official commitment. Studies showed that divorce rate is higher for these couples than those who never lived together before getting married.
Currently, there are so many divisive issues in our country that can break up a marriage, family relationships and close friendships. Listen carefully to the Holy Spirit and see if you should be discussing these issues or be actively involved in a rally or a cause. Since my husband and I have differences of opinions on hot topics, I have to carefully navigate around land mine topics in order to maintain peace and unity in our marriage.
I’ve been listening to pastor Carter Colon’s older sermons from 2010. I really enjoy every single one. These two about humility were excellent. It brought memory of the time when I heard from the Holy Spirit that if I remain humble then God will supply me with continuous grace. However if I become proud, then God will oppose me to bring me back to humility in order to richly supply me with His grace again. Knowing this truth, I really try hard to be humble. I need God’s grace every minute! Life is too, too hard without God’s grace.
http://sermons.tsc.nyc/the-humble-will-be-lifted-up/
http://sermons.tsc.nyc/the-lord-gives-grace-to-the-humble/
If you have adult children who are struggling in their marriage or have gotten a divorce, pray about sharing these resources with them. I don’t mind you sharing. I want them to be successful in their current marriage or be prepared for their next marriage ahead of time.
Harvest ministry has many free ebooks. There is one called “Marriage on the Rock” that is an excellent read. https://harvest.org/resources/explore-resources/
God bless your studies this summer!
One more thing before I end my newsletter. Yesterday I was listening and watching this ministry from India 🇮🇳. My good friend shared it with me because I am still unsure about Christian leaders who call themselves “apostles”. He explains it all in this message. It’s a long message but well worth hearing it all. Plus he has some amazing testimonies and stories!
I would like everyone to at least hear the testimony of this beautiful teenager who was badly bullied, and became suicidal as a young teen. Furthermore, because of the internet she came across porn and developed a porn addiction. I have read that many more women are becoming addicted to porn because of the easy access to porn. Please watch her testimony that starts at 1:09. It’s not long.
https://www.youtube.com/live/S8HmY1-nE3c?si=ir-EGY-P0ffnAu1l
FYI – because porn companies target the websites that the youth visit, experts say to start having conversations about porn early since most children come across it by age 10. Parent ministry, Axis has resources for the parents on how to engage in this conversations.
https://axis.org/resource/porn-conversation-kit/
As I was thinking to myself that this man, Ankit Sajwan looks too young to be an apostle; then yesterday, the Holy Spirit lead me to read Jesus’s words in Matthew 10. It’s when Jesus sent out his twelve disciples out as apostles. These young men were young. According to Bible scholars, they were about college and high school ages. Peter was probably the oldest in his mid-20s. John was probably the youngest at about age 14-16.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2010&version=VOICE
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