Hello friends. This week I was going through my old writings and I came across my journal entry in September 2015. It’s interesting to see that I’m still wrestling on the topic of healing and miracles!
As I was reading what I wrote over ten years ago, I see that my thoughts and conclusions are still about the same. And that’s okay as long as you are wrestling your emotions and questions in a community of believers, and not in isolation.
Here’s my journal entry in September 2015. I hope this helps you. If it doesn’t, no worries. It helped me today as I have been praying for friends and family with cancers in 2026.
Last week in my bible study group I distributed copies of healing bible verses. I gathered them online for a friend who is battling cancer for about a year ago. I’ve felt prompted to share the verses because we are praying for many who have serious illness or physical ailments. As I was reading through the healing bible verses and reflecting on divine healing in the book of Acts that we are studying together, I was convicted of my unbelief. It’s interesting how the Holy Spirit is convicting me because this wasn’t brought up before. Therefore, I thought I believed. However when God sheds light into an area, you can see your true condition. So like the father who greatly desired his son to be free and delivered, I also cried out to Jesus, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief.”
I don’t understand divine healing but I’ve heard and read enough to either believe or not believe these testimonies. I have chosen to believe, and yet I need help with my unbelief because in God’s light I see that I have so much unbelief. When I see a lack or weakness within me, then I have learned to ask in prayer for God to fill me with what I need. How is asking for ‘patience’ so different from ‘belief’ in God’s eyes? How is asking for help with ‘anger and rage’ so different from ‘unbelief’ in God’s eyes? I believe they are the same to Him.
I was reflecting on one of my favorite verse from 2 Timothy 1:7(NLT)- “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
I also like NKJV version which says ‘sound mind’ especially when I needed a sound mind and peace in the earlier days. For the past four years, I’ve been learning ‘self-discipline’ and ‘love’. I’m not perfect but I know that I’ve grown tremendously in those two areas. I’m a very different person because I’ve submitted myself to the Lord and kept learning. Now it occurred to me that I’ve forgotten about ‘power’ in that verse.
Though I’ve changed considerably and I had hoped the changes would open the eyes of nonbelievers closest to me about Jesus, it hasn’t. Therefore it’s entering my heart and mind that my life must also display ‘power’ just as Jesus and the early apostles did in the book of Acts. The Holy Spirit right on cue gives me a song through the radio that flames my faith. The song is by Jeremy Camp called, “Same Power”. https://youtu.be/InsifiZxVXU
Mark 9:24 (NLT)
The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”
Romans 8:11 (NKJV)
11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
I used to always get bad bronchitis every winter where the coughing would last for many weeks especially at night. My lower back used to give out unexpectedly and often too. I never prayed for those ailments to get removed because I just didn’t think I can ask for it. But the past three years I don’t have these ailments. The only way I can explain is that my time sitting down with Jesus every morning simply made my body whole. Because in His presence, sickness has to leave.
I’ve also realized as I’m reading God’s word on healing that my faith is not as important as the quality of God’s word. God’s word is like seeds. Whether or not the farmer has faith in the seeds is not as important. As long as the farmer does his job to plant the seeds, they will produce a harvest. The more he plants, the more harvest he will get. So keep on reading the word of God which is like planting seeds in your heart and mind. Then rest and believe that God is going to make the seeds grow.
Death and life is in our tongue. I pray that I will use the tongue God has given me to bless my body with life. (Read out loud God’s words on healing everyday if you suffer physically. They are available online. Just google ‘healing bible verses’ and you’ll get many.)
Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)
Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit there of.
Check out this site and songs:
http://www.healingisright.com
(It hasn’t been updated in a while but the testimonies are still incredible.)
In my quest to understand ‘healing and miracles’ in the modern church, I heard/read way too many stories and sermons. I swung back and forth between cessationists and charismatics and somewhere in between. If you also have been thinking and wondering about this topic, I think you’ll appreciate this recent interview in the Jesus People podcast. I also think if after all these years, I’m still wrestling with this same topic, then it is a sign that it’s a passion that God has placed within me. I will keep digging and searching until I hit a good, clean water reservoir.
“In Episode 85 of The Jesus People Podcast, Ryan Miller sits down with bestselling author and apologist Melissa Dougherty for one of the most important conversations on spiritual discernment, false teaching, the Word of Faith movement, and the dangers of chasing power over the presence of Jesus.
Melissa shares her powerful testimony of leaving New Thought spirituality, explains how deceptive doctrines have entered many churches, and unpacks why believers must test every teaching against Scripture while remaining open to the genuine work of the Holy Spirit. Whether you’re charismatic, cessationist, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge you to pursue truth, humility, and intimacy with Christ above sensational experiences.”
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jesus-people-podcast/id1768632876?i=1000779751716
The late pastor Derek Prince is a great charismatic teacher to learn from on healing and miracles. Here’s an exert from his short devotional.
“I lay in a hospital bed for a year on end as a Christian. The doctors were not healing me. I knew that my only hope was in God. I kept saying to myself, “If I had faith I know God would heal me.” But then I always said, “But then, I don’t have faith.” And then one day Romans 10:17 came to me, “Faith cometh by hearing,” and I leapt at it. Faith comes. If I don’t have it, I can get it.”
(Read here to find out what happened to him next.)
https://www.derekprince.com/devotionals/wd-r057-012
But you, who are devoted to being with God and searching for God, be strong and do not lose courage because your actions will reap rewards. – 2 Chronicles 15:7 (The Voice)
I have been following Christine Caine for a while now and supporting her A21 organization against human trafficking. Her books are excellent too. If you have never heard from her before, give this interview a listen. You will learn a lot and be inspired very much!
(About 16 years ago, I saw an episode on Dateline about sexual tourism industry in Thailand. The clients were affluent, educated, middle aged men from the USA and their prey were young children about my children’s ages at that time. This is another passion that God has put into me. After giving to my home church, this cause is the second highest that I fund. We all have different paths and passions in the church body. That’s okay. And I will always try to recruit new members to my club table, that’s all.)
I’ll be leading a Bible study on God’s angels at my church. Please see this link to see what study book we will be using if you also want to get the study book. https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/angels-bible-study-book-with-video-access-P005850829
This CBN article sums up for me why I’m doing this study about God’s angels. http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/entertainment/2026/september/stepping-into-the-blurry-space-can-supernatural-encounters-follow-you-home
I like this quote from the article:“Perhaps the most important thing I took away from this conversation was that Christians don’t need to become fascinated with darkness. We need to become more confident in the Light.”
I heard an incredible NDE (near death experience) testimony by an Australian professor. He saw angels in heaven. Generally from the stories that I’ve heard and read, God’s angels on earth shift themselves as humans to not frighten us when helping us. They help us in danger and then they leave immediately after their assignment ends. They don’t stick around for conversation. So it was very interesting to hear how this professor describes the angels in heaven and to have conversations with them!
That’s about it for this week’s newsletter. God bless you abundantly! With gratitude and in His grace, 🙏❤️.
Journal of Faith 